Observations about money

Warning, people with tender egos or who lack a sense of humour should read no more. These are meant to be fun observations and are not written to cause any anguish. We've all got our foibles and I've probably got more than most.

Somebody once said, "Most people are too busy working to earn any real money." Well, there is a lot of truth in that. I worked my plumbs off in a factory for thirty years and ended up with little to show for my efforts.

Anyway, my mind turned to the subject of money this morning and I had this thought.

"Poor people are always thinking about ways to save money, while rich people focus their minds on making money."

Those are the two extremes of society; most of us spend half our time thinking about saving money and the rest thinking about how we can earn a few extra bob. So, if you are short of money, and always struggling to make ends meet, my advice would be this. Think less about how you can save money and more about how you can make some.

I know that having no money is a bummer because I've been there, but here's a few observations on the subject. Which group do you fit into?

Group 1: People with serious amounts of money.

1) Buy a Yacht or a massive speedboat that they rarely use because they hate being out on the water. They bought it just to impress their friends.

2) Love to own second and third homes. Going from one to another keeps them busy and, while they are doing that, they don't have to worry about what they can spend some more money on.

3) Love to throw a little of it, and even more of their egos into charity projects.

4) Have to have their own jet aeroplane of helicopter, so they can fly to the race meet and lose some extra cash.

5) Have a grand piano in their lounge that nobody can play.

6) Have several expensive cars including a vintage classic.

Group 2: People who have got spare cash, but not enough to be in group 1.

1) Spend money on personalised car registration plates.

2) Like to holiday on cruise ships and complain that their sanctuary is being invaded by the lower classes.

3) Have a cocktail bar in their lounge.

4) Have a games room with a juke box, snooker table, dart board and a pinball machine.

5) Have an old sixties car in their garden that they are going to restore, oneday.

6) Have an old red telephone box in their front garden or even worse they've had one converted into a shower.

7) Have a house jammed with loads of gadgets and labour saving devices, like bread makers and remote controls for their garage doors.

Group 3: People without money.

1) Can always find enough for a drink and a smoke.

2) Often have huge wide-screen televisions.

3) Often have enough pets to start a zoo. Snakes and other reptiles become specialities for those who are short of cash.

4) Are often seen wearing lots of jewelry, especially thick gold chains and big rings.

5) Keep lots of hairdressers in business and some have more desire than the rest of the population, to spend money on having their bodies tattooed.

6) Sometimes spend too much of what little they've got on gambling.

7) Often become obsessed with get rich quick schemes.

Group 4: People in this group.

1) Dream of being in group 2.

2) Work hard and try to work out ways of getting into group 1.

3) Worry about ending up in group 3.

4) Don't realise it, and will never admit to it, but they are actually the happiest and the most content.